Worst Christmas song by a Beatle? | The Tylt
The rock genre owes a great debt to the Beatles, and both Sir Paul McCartney and John Lennon in particular. Yet, the duo also managed to crank out two of the most nauseating Christmas songs imaginable: John and Yoko with "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" and Paul with "Wonderful Christmastime." The synthrock melody of "Wonderful Christmastime" is headache-inducing for any holiday shopper. But "Happy Xmas" is granola-eating hippie schlock at its worst. What do you think? Vote below! 🎶 🎄 🎶
Worst Christmas song by a Beatle?
It’s that time of year again! Millions of shoppers will be hit with wave after unrelenting wave of holiday music to the point of aural madness. To celebrate this month of obnoxious festive melodies, we’ve taken the 16 most reviled Christmas songs and are pitting them against each other all month long! Don't forget to cast your vote in these other exciting head-to-head debates:
"Happy Xmas (War is Over)" is the kind of grandiose, preachy hippie garbage that makes people cringe when anyone mentions John and Yoko. It's truly insidious; layering holiday schmaltz over pretentious lyrics. You know it's bad when a disc jockey can't stand it (and they're paid to play things on repeat):
I know for me, every time I hear Happy XMas (War is Over) I want to scream. I cannot stand that song.
Not sure it's much of a success when your everyone-hold-hands, give-peace-a-chance Christmas song makes holiday shoppers want to launch rage-powered nuclear missiles at the nearest stereo system. We came to the mall to buy overpriced crap for our loved ones, not listen to some dead pacifist guilt-trip us into being nice.
For any veteran retail worker, McCartney's Christmastime anthem is something of a shared penance amongst underpaid employees—ushering in a time of great suffering and long holiday hours. It's a painful melody that kills your soul. And it's not just the music; the train wreck that is "Wonderful Christmastime" makes its first fatal miscalculation with the title and never stops:
Hey, Paul, there’s no such word as Christmastime. It’s two words. For example, I wouldn’t say “this songsucks,” I’d say “this song sucks,” with a space.
From the first note, the song's grating synthrock melody bores its way into your head and murders all good taste with each passing line. Not content with producing unfiltered holiday garbage that sounds like a witch grinding her nails on sand paper, McCartney's lyrical genius is noticeably absent—there are no less than six lines that consist of nothing other than "Ding dong, ding dong."
This song is the musical equivalent of waking up after 12-hour bender, racing to the bathroom to empty your bladder, only to find a plastic bag full of vomit in your sink. I mean, what the fuck?