Which Christmas song is more of a drag?

Which Christmas song is more of a drag?

Join the conversation and vote below

These two Christmas carols seem designed to suck all the joy from the season. "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" warns children "You better watch out/You better not cry/" because you're being spied on by St. Nick (he sees you when you're sleeping!). No wonder little kids cry on Santa's lap! But Patton Oswalt called "The Christmas Shoes," a hymn to a penniless urchin trying to buy shoes for his dying mother "the most horrific Christmas song" ever written. Which is worse? Vote below! 😢 🎄

The Votes Are In!

It’s that time of year again! Millions of shoppers will be hit with wave after unrelenting wave of holiday music to the point of aural madness. To celebrate this month of obnoxious festive melodies, we’ve taken the 16 most reviled Christmas songs and are pitting them against each other all month long! Don't forget to cast your vote in these other exciting head-to-head debates:

Which Christmas song is the most soul-sucking: 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' or 'Wonderful Christmastime'?

Which Christmas song is more hellish: 'Little Drummer Boy' or 'The Night Before Christmas'?

Which Christmas song is most irritating: 'The Chipmunk Song' or 'Feliz Navidad'? 


"The Christmas Shoes" is perhaps its own category of depressing terribleness: It actually inspired a 2002 Rob Lowe TV movie. Rich Cromwell of the Federalist puts it on his all-time top 10 worst list:

The psychotically schmaltzy schlock favorite conjures images of a kid without enough money to buy shoes for his dying mother because he wants her “to look beautiful, if she meets Jesus tonight.”

Here's Patton Oswalt's epic takedown of "The Christmas Shoes." Why would Jesus care about someone's footwear? THIS SONG MAKES NO SENSE.

The idea of Santa Claus as Big Brother, used as a threat to keep kids in line is bad enough—but the melody is incredibly annoying as well. Just when you think it couldn't get worse, Bieber releases a version in which he plays a Christmas elf.

A song that tells kids that if they repress their emotions, they will be rewarded with material goods is perhaps worse than milking the tragedy of a penniless kid with a terminally ill parent for cheap emotion. Doesn't "be good for goodness sake" sound like a veiled threat?

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