Who's your new dance teacher: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum? | The Tylt

Who's your new dance teacher: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum?

There may come a time in a person's life when they’re forced to dance. It’s unclear as to why this is included as one of life’s many rites of passage, but nevertheless it remains so. If you’re one of those people that would much rather watch reruns of “American Dreams” sober, worry not—you now have two skilled dance teachers to help you out. One keeps babies from being put in the corner; the other's a huge fan of Ginuwine. Who’s teaching you to two-step: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum?

FINAL RESULTS
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Who's your new dance teacher: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum?
A festive crown for the winner
#SwayMeSwayze
#TatumTango
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Who's your new dance teacher: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum?
#SwayMeSwayze
#TatumTango
#SwayMeSwayze

Patrick Swayze is the reason why girls started to really look forward to summer camp; there was always the hope they'd have at least one hot counselor ready to have a steamy fling. In reality, they probably had that one socially awkward kid carving them weird soap animals as gifts for the whole time. 

#SwayMeSwayze

That didn’t stop them (and millions of others) from putting on “Dirty Dancing” and fantasizing about Mr. Swayze teaching them to twist their hips as erotically as a man wearing tight black jeans could. Not only does Swayze move like liquid smoke, but he’s a sassy, intense professor that makes sure you’ll get every step down right, all the while maintaining sexually charged eye contact. 

#SwayMeSwayze

When he wasn’t also fighting oppressive Soviet structures or trying to preach self-help lifestyles, Swayze was in reality a lovely Texas boy that remained married to one woman for over three decades. Additional talents include surfing, singing, and beating up a few punks wherever necessary. Having Swayze as a dance teacher would help you learn to move, and possibly even love. 

#TatumTango

Novice dancers take caution: Channing Tatum has a very particular skill set. His personal brand of intensity is one that could only be exhibited by someone who once stripped for cash. The thing about Tatum, though, is that he has a very goofy self-awareness that kind of takes the edge off any of your lessons. That is, until “’Til the Dawn” comes on. 

#TatumTango

To the delight of anyone who’s watched “Magic Mike” once (or a thousand) times, Tatum hasn’t lost any of his penchant for taking his clothes off. With any luck, he’ll transfer them on over to you. Some other things you’ll learn from Tatum is how to be super, super flexible, and how to gyrate your hips in a way that’s not too jerky, not too forward, but is, as Goldilocks would say, just right.

#TatumTango

Another southern gentleman hailing from Alabama, Tatum hit the early-2000s movie scene hard with his breakout role in “Step Up” (the franchise which graciously gave us Flo Rida’s greatest hit). He then went undercover with Jonah Hill (twice), got together with his co-star, and is even set to play Gambit in a movie that should have happened already. With Tatum as your teacher, you’ll bend your body in ways initially thought impossible. You’ll even get a banging grand finale to boot. 

FINAL RESULTS
Entertainment
Who's your new dance teacher: Patrick Swayze or Channing Tatum?
A festive crown for the winner
#SwayMeSwayze
#TatumTango