Who defends you in court: Joe Pesci or Matthew McConaughey? | The Tylt

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Who defends you in court: Joe Pesci or Matthew McConaughey?
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Part-time mobster and occasional Macaulay Culkin opponent, Joe Pesci isn’t always bad. In fact, he was so good in his turn as a lawyer in, “My Cousin Vinny,” the film is said to be one of the most accurate law films of all times. Many advocates even advise their students practice to watch it in an educational fashion.

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For the unfamiliar out there, the basic premise is that Joe Pesci’s cousin (Ralph Macchio) and his friend (Mitchell Whitfield) are pegged for a murder-robbery in a small southern town. Pesci as the titular Vinny rolls on down to defend him, initially coming off as a bit of a city ignoramus. The locals are bamboozled by his leather and accent, where he in turn has zero patience for how slow they move. 

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With Pesci as your lawyer, there’ll be plenty of times when you whisper, “No, stop.” He has a bit of mouth and the sarcasm can occasionally distract from whatever solid argument he delivers. Make sure to pull him aside beforehand and tell him to please take it down a notch. 

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Underneath the scruffy exterior and chipped shoulder, though, is a solid law acumen. Those in the courtroom would be wrong to underestimate Pesci, Esquire: he’s a nonstop workaholic that’ll learn your cases backwards and forwards. Not to mention the mouth certainly comes in handy against pompous plaintiffs. 

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Pesci’s sure to get you off the hook, even if the trial gets off to a rocky start. As soon as you hear that “not guilty,” you’ll be as happy as Marisa Tomei with a bouffant.

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Before he stripped or refused to leave Kate Hudson alone, Matthew McConaughey fought for justice. In “A Time to Kill,” he portrayed a lawyer who sought to expose the unfair accusations made against his client, as played by Samuel L. Jackson. He takes the case when no one else will, believing the legal system will sway in their favor against all odds. 

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Where Pesci is a brazen cynic, McConaughey is a bold idealist: Just because there’s a high chance of losing the case doesn’t mean he won’t try is absolute best. If you’re truly in deep, know that he’ll get you off the hook in whatever lawful way he can. 

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That’s not to say McConaughey can’t get sassy. If need be, he can most certainly fly off the handle, albeit in an entirely level-headed fashion. Many are thrown off by McConaughey’s low volume, completely taken aback when he gets a bit rougher (or, shall we say, uncouth) in his defensive tactics. 

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Other than a slight temper, McConaughey plays a polished lawyer. He’ll never overstep or get on the judge’s nerves, and luckily knows how to pull off a suit in order to appease the shallower members of the jury. 

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As soon as you’re free, there’s plenty of celebration to be had with our star advocate. Just be sure you have a lot of dollar bills at hand. 

FINAL RESULTS
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Who defends you in court: Joe Pesci or Matthew McConaughey?
#DefendMeJoe
A festive crown for the winner
#DefendMeMatt