Would you ask for money instead of creating a registry for your wedding? | The Tylt
For some couples, the best wedding gift anyone could give is cash. With money in hand, newlyweds can decide how to utilize their friends and family's generosity. They could choose to cover wedding or honeymoon expenses, buy a new house or simply save up for the future. Yet, despite the practicality a cash gift can have, some couples and wedding guests feel the concept is tacky. This camp believes couples should stick to traditional registries. What do you think?
Would you ask for money instead of creating a registry for your wedding?
The point of wedding registries is to help the happy couple settle into a new life and a new home together. But modern couples don't need to register at Macy's for toaster ovens and blenders anymore; most already have everything they need to run a home. As a result, many couples would much rather receive cash gifts from their family and friends.
If wedding guests offer cash instead of china sets, newlyweds are able to allocate the money in ways that best suit their needs. They might put it towards their honeymoon or put it towards a downpayment on a house. If couples simply don't need the gifts traditionally associated with wedding registries, they should not hesitate to encourage guests to give cash instead.
But traditionalists say this practice is tacky. By asking for cash gifts, you put your guests in an uncomfortable position. Suddenly, your distant aunt has to decide how much to write a check for, putting unfair pressure on her to define how much you, your marriage and your future are worth.
Sure, guests do this in a similar way by giving gifts, but you don't remember how much the price of the food processor that Aunt Jenny gave you was; you just remember she gave you a food processor. If the same relative were to make out a check for $75 when everyone else gave over $100, you are going to associate the number with the person—just by nature.
Guests will wonder what the appropriate amount is for a cash gift, leading to awkward situations and interactions. Couples should stick to the traditional wedding registry to avoid these moments.
According to Brides, asking your guests for cash gifts instead of physical ones requires tact, but is still perfectly acceptable. There are plenty of wedding registry sites that help make monetary gifts easy and seamless, like Zola or Honeyfund. Brides' Jaimie Mackey offers a number of strategies, including setting up a box for cards at your reception and giving guests an idea of what their money will go towards:
Cash or a check can feel impersonal, so letting guests know where the money will go helps your guests feel more connected to the two of you and your plans. If you're in the middle of a big project, like renovating your home or moving across the country, let guests know about it on your wedding website.
According to Mackey, by adding a personal touch to the gift-giving process, guests will feel much more comfortable (and even excited!) to put money towards your next big step in life.
According to The Spruce's Nina Callaway, the jury is still out on whether or not asking for monetary gifts is the ultimate wedding sin:
Though cash registries are becoming more popular, the verdict is not in yet whether these are considered tacky or appropriate. Quite often, the way that they are perceived by guests depends on the generation: younger people like the idea and older people tend to prefer physical gifts.
In order to keep proper etiquette and ensure that all of your guests are comfortable, Callaway offers an alternative approach:
There will always be guests who believe that giving money is tacky. Others may simply feel uncomfortable giving cash; it may seem like they're putting a definitive value on your happiness...The easiest solution is to put together a modest wedding registry for your gift-buying guests.