Would you go on your honeymoon without your partner? | The Tylt
Would you go on your honeymoon without your partner?
Plenty of people grow up dreaming of their wedding day, but in early adulthood, many also fantasize about where they will take their honeymoon. Will it be Paris? Australia? Hawaii? The dream honeymoon has built a reputation of being the vacation of your life, and for some couples, that dream isn't the same.
The New York Times' Danielle Braff spoke to a number of couples who took "unimoons" as a result, meaning they honeymooned separately. One couple explains:
“Neither of us wanted to be where the other one was,” Ms. O’Brien said. “We each came back to Dublin full of stories, buzzing of our trips and truly delighted to see each other again to share the memories: It was the perfect imperfect honeymoon.”
For O'Brien and her husband, the unimoon provided a different kind of bond–one where the couple could talk and share experiences that each individual thoroughly enjoyed, rather than compromising on a vacation they would both enjoy less.
No one is saying your honeymoon needs to be extravagant, but it should, at the very least, be spent with your partner. Experts agree that a honeymoon is not just a superfluous thing–a vacation with your new spouse provides crucial time to bond uninterrupted, creating an important foundation for your lives together.
Some question how long relationships can actually last if they begin a new chapter like marriage apart.
Others argue that the unimoon is simply another evolutionary step in the modern relationship. Individualism is paramount, and honeymooning separately signals a couple's lack of dependency. According to psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby, knowledge of your own needs and values is a great indicator of a healthy relationship, particularly if your partner is different from you. Bobby tells Braff:
“While taking separate honeymoons may seem extreme, highly individuated couples may view their independence and separate experiences as a strength of their relationship,” Ms. Bobby said. “Having your own life is, after all, a wonderful way to be an interesting, vibrant and genuinely satisfied person. All of which are qualities that will sustain a long-term relationship.”
Every couple operates differently, and if some want to spend the days or weeks after their wedding apart, more power to them.
Others are grounded in tradition. A honeymoon should be a time of relaxation–away from the stress of a wedding or all of the family that you've just had to visit. The time after your wedding is a universally-respected respite, which does not come around that often. Partners should enjoy it with each other.