Should you live with someone before getting married? | The Tylt
Should you live with someone before getting married?
Trevor Noah made headlines when he made the case for zero cohabitation whatsoever, whether it's before marriage or even during marriage itself. On the "Howard Stern Show," Noah commented:
"I'm a big advocate for not living together ever, even if you're married."
Noah argued that cohabitation was the main reason why people get divorced. Others don't go quite as far to say that all cohabitation is bad; they simply believe living with a partner is something that ought to be reserved for marriage. According to Elite Daily's Rebecca Strong, multiple studies point out the risks of cohabitation before marriage:
Strong also refers to relationship and etiquette expert April Masini, who identifies one positive of waiting to move in together until after marriage (if marriage is indeed in store):
“When you move in together after the wedding, you have a romantic beginning to your marriage,” she tells Elite Daily. “A fresh, new beginning is emphasized by the wedding ceremony and the moving in together for the first time.”
Some relationship experts argue cohabitation before marriage is the perfect trial-run to marriage itself. No matter how much time you spend with a partner, nothing is quite the same as coming home to them every day, waking up with them every morning and making household decisions together. As the relationship advice site, Paired Life, puts it:
It appears smart for two people to acquire firsthand knowledge of whether they can live under the same roof. Despite differences in their living habits, couples want to make an informed decision before they move forward to marry without regrets.
The decision to move in together is a big one and Paired Life recommends being completely transparent with your partner in a few particular areas, including:
Establish a sense of your own independence and identity before "living as married" or sharing space with anyone; having a sense of who you are as two people will probably make you stronger as individuals, and thus, more successful in your capacities to have more insight, compassion, and unconditional love for each other's differences.