Is monogamy unrealistic? | The Tylt

Is monogamy unrealistic?

Monogamy (two people in a sexually exclusive relationship) is the model mainstream society suggests for romantic success and stability. But human beings did not necessarily evolve to be sexually exclusive with one person, and some say monogamy just ends up in disappointment and disaster. One study found that nearly 3/4 of men and women had cheated on their spouses. Some argue other models—like open relationships, polyamory, or "monogamish"— are smarter alternatives. What do you think? 💏

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Writer and activist Dan Savage has been an outspoken critic of American society's expectations of monogamy. He advocates for people to be open to other relationship models:

“I acknowledge the advantages of monogamy when it comes to sexual safety, infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances. But people in monogamous relationships have to be willing to meet me a quarter of the way and acknowledge the drawbacks of monogamy around boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted.”
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But others cite the old quote about democracy being a bad system of government—until it's compared with all the others. Yes, monogamy is difficult and challenging, but compared with other options—it offers stability and emotional intimacy like no other relationship model.

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Much of the recent research supports the anti-monogamous arguments. Across the globe, an estimated 95 percent of mammalian species and 85 percent of human cultures are polygamous. Critics say monogamy actually evolved as a way to guarantee paternity and control women. The book "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality" challenged much of the conventional wisdom around the naturalness of monogamy:

Marriage in the West isn’t doing very well because it’s in direct confrontation with the evolved reality of our species.
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In an article called "The War Against Monogamy Is Bullshit," Hugo Schweizer argues that people who want traditional relationships are getting a bad rap:

"In the rush to celebrate worthy alternatives to monogamy, are we discouraging the hopeful traditionalists from even giving it a try?"
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FINAL RESULTS
Culture
Is monogamy unrealistic?
A festive crown for the winner
#MonogamyUnrealistic
#MonogamyWorks