According to this thing called the Cube Rule—an equation trying to make sense in a nonsensical world—hot dogs are undoubtedly sandwiches. The basic definition of what a sandwich is comes out to “two or more slices of bread or the like with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc. between each pair.” And what the dictionaries say, goes.
You can’t argue with the facts, man. Just accept reality and move forward wiser and more confident. We, however, absolutely draw the line in thinking that raviolis are a type of Pop Tart.
A hot dog is a hot dog. Why can’t it just be itself? It’s its own category of deliciousness—a long slab of meat cushioned in between a delightfully puffy bun. What’s on it? Mustard? Ketchup? A whole lot of onions? Who cares—at the end of the day, it’s a hot dog, not a sandwich. Even hot dog experts say so!
If we continue to let people believe in the idea that hot dogs are sandwiches, where would the madness stop? Cereal will suddenly be soup; pizza and sushi are technically toast. They already took Pluto away from us, we can’t let them take anything else! Do not let chaos ensue: Let a dog be a dog!