Is it okay to ghost people? | The Tylt

Is it okay to ghost people?

Everyone’s done it...right? Whether you’ve ghosted someone once, you do it chronically, or you yourself have been ghosted, the phenomenon seems to touch everyone. But is closing off contact with other human beings with no explanation whatsoever really okay? Some think virtual communication lends itself to the practice. What do you think? 

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Picture this: you meet a seemingly nice person on Tinder. You connect and chat a little bit before agreeing to meet for drinks. 

The drinks go well, and you decide to get together another time next weekend. The second date was not as successful as the first, and you find in the days following that this person is a little too clingy for your taste. 

What do you do in said scenario? Perhaps it's not necessary to hash out why you would like to halt the budding relationship–there's no need to hurt this person's feelings, after all. If you simply stop responding, the other person will get the hint and no harm done. 

#GhostingNotOkay

It's really not that much to ask for someone to politely explain that they would like to end a fresh relationship. It would take a simple line–a mere 30 seconds of typing–saying: "Hey, I had a great time the other night, but I've just decided that I'd like to see other people." 

Sure, the inevitable response, "Why?" is a gut-punch to the person ending things, but leaving someone else hanging without even a word of explanation is undeniably worse. 

#GhostingOkay

One dating app, Plenty of Fish, conducted a survey of 800 daters, aged between 18 and 33 years. Out of those surveyed, 80% responded that they themselves have been ghosted. 

Plenty of Fish theorizes: 

When you meet someone online, go on a couple of dates and come to the realization it isn’t going anywhere, your immediate reaction may be to trigger the avoidance tactic. You send messages few and far between in hopes your date takes the hint.
Since the likelihood of running into this person down the road is low, paired with the convenience of hiding behind a device, millennials have opted to take the easy way out by ghosting one another instead of giving a clear, “I’m just not that into you,” answer.

Given the increasing number of relationships beginning online or through dating apps, users may feel more justified in ceasing virtual communication in order to signal an end to a largely virtual relationship. Furthermore, if the two engaged in conversation have never met in person, ghosting feels more like an inconsequential whim, rather than a slight. 

#GhostingNotOkay

Leaving another person without any sort of explanation for your change in feelings goes against basic human decency. The Odyssey's Danielle Dirksen writes of her own experience being ghosted and the impact it left: 

I was ghosted by somebody who I had been talking to for a little while, and we had plans to hang out the very next day. All of a sudden, I never heard back from that person in the same tone again. I didn’t even realize that I was being ghosted at first but after not hearing a response for a few days, the message was clear.
It’s been a year and I still carry traces of resentment and fear that the next person who comes along will do something similar.
FINAL RESULTS
Culture
Is it okay to ghost people?
#GhostingOkay
A festive crown for the winner
#GhostingNotOkay