What's the right way to eat a chocolate bunny? | The Tylt
It's that time of year: The flowers are blooming, the pollen is swirling and the chocolate bunnies are ready to be devoured. After you've made your careful pick and selected your chocolate Easter bunny, you face an important choice on how to proceed. Some people feel you should dive right in, biting off the top of the bunny's ears first and work your way down. Others find this barbaric, and would prefer to pop off the head of the bunny completely, eating it piece by piece. What do you think?
What's the right way to eat a chocolate bunny?
Chocolate Easter bunnies come in a number of forms; some resemble a lifelike bunny sitting in profile, while others feature a cartoon rabbit staring at you with yellow, expectant eyes. Some bunnies are hollow, while others are solid, but no matter what your bunny of choice looks like, its ears stick out as a welcome sign, saying "eat me" to fans of Easter candy everywhere.
It's only logical to start with the ears first. You're holding a giant piece of chocolate in your hand, and it makes sense to begin with the appendage closest to you.
Starting with the ears first allows you to savor your bunny. Bite by bite, you will enjoy its rich, smooth texture from ear to tail.
But not everyone agrees. Some Easter bunny-eaters prefer to crack the entire head off of the bunny to start, thus consuming the hunk of chocolate in dismantled bits.
Think about it, when you hold an entire Hershey's chocolate bar or a Kit-Kat in your hand, do you just bite into it haphazardly? Absolutely not. Doing so would be barbaric. You break off orderly pieces in order to ease what would otherwise be a chaotic consumption process.
Put your bunny out of its misery; guillotine it first.
The ears-first approach has science on its side. According to the team at the Today Show:
A recent study published in The Laryngoscope journal found that the vast majority of bunny consumers (59 percent) start with the ears.
The study utilized online research to determine the bunny-eating habits of over 28,000 people, and the ears-first method proved to be the norm.
Beginning with the ears is the classic top-down approach. This camp does not cause chaos; they reject inhumane treatment of chocolate bunnies everywhere.
Let's stop to consider what the chocolate bunny itself would want. Most are familiar with the story of Peter Rabbit, but few people know what happens after our favorite bunny escapes the garden and returns to his mother.
In the image below, we see Peter Rabbit with his maker. Peter understands what he is–chocolate–and knows the fate that will soon befall him. Depending on who plucks him from the shelf, Peter could face a long and slow demise, where multiple people gnaw at his various appendages. Or, his chocolatey head could be severed immediately by an eager, chocolate-loving child.
Peter's creator is benevolent and understands his two possible fates. She does not wish for her chocolate child to suffer pain, so she fixes a yellow ribbon to his neck, signaling to chocolate-eaters that he should be first broken into pieces. Peter winces as the first bits of chocolate melt beneath the heat of the the bright fabric. But he soon finds peace in the pieces left of his hand-crafted body.
This is Peter's story. Hold it with you as you consider your own chocolate Easter bunny's fate. Your bunny deserves a quick death.