Should you date someone with different political beliefs than you? | The Tylt
Should you date someone with different political beliefs than you?
With the 2020 election ramping up and debate season in full swing, political conversations among friends and family are only getting started. But when it comes to your significant other, can you stand to be on opposite sides of the aisle?
Your partner should not be a carbon copy of you. Differences in opinion not only lead to healthy discussion, but they keep things interesting. If you and your partner agree on everything, from where to go out on a Friday night to who to vote for, you're probably going to have a pretty bland life together.
Your significant other should be someone you respect, so what better person is there to have a political discussion with? If your opinions are all the same, you're not likely to learn much from one another.
The New York Times' Josephine Sedgwick spoke with a number of couples with opposing political views. For one young couple, there was magic in disagreement:
We met after the 2016 election, thank goodness! But we both still have posters in our apartments of our respective candidates. Not cute.
We disagree about everything! But political discussions drive us to explain where we come from. Think of it as a way for you to define & defend your own beliefs.
For one of our first dates, he took me to a gun range and taught me how to shoot. I’ve taught him a lot about gun deaths in this country compared to other countries and about how much guns are tied to suicide.
Different political values imply completely different world views. How are you supposed to take on life with your partner if you disagree about how the world should work? For some people, opposites may attract, but that attraction doesn't last forever.
A Plus' Lindsay Geller also spoke with a number of people with experience in the matter. For one woman, now single, the experience of dating someone with different politics from her own was enough to confirm that the scenario is indeed impossible:
"The first guy I dated after my marriage [separation] was of the opposite political party and, you know, it was a rough time in New York City and the United States and I was like, 'I don't know if I can do this,'" she explained. "And the first few dates ... we had some really interesting conversations, but it was cut short. Not because of politics, but because of values that might be associated with that. So after that I realized I wouldn't date someone else who was of the opposite political view that I am."
Each political party has its own sets of opinions on how the country should work and run, and it sets goals and policy based on those opinions. If your partner thinks the entire country should function in a different way than you do, you can't possibly hope to agree on much of anything.
You can be on the world's biggest political stage and disagree with your partner on politics–it's been proven. Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the president, and her husband, George, seem to disagree on everything when it comes to Donald Trump.
Kellyanne served as Trump's campaign manager in 2016, and George is a lawyer in New York. George tweets about things like Trump having an undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder, while Kellyanne tweets about Trump creating more jobs. Trump himself has gotten involved in the couple's opposing views.
If Kellyanne and George Conway can make it work–anyone can! We think.
No one wants a relationship where you are constantly at odds with your partner. Discussion is healthy, but there's no guarantee that talks with your significant other will stay discussions and not grow into full-blown arguments. Elite Daily's Rachel Shatto went searching for answers on this topic and found them with dating expert Julie Spira. According to Spira:
"Politics has become a top deal breaker, higher on the dating totem pole than dating a ‘smoker who can quit’. If someone feels strongly about politics, it’s going to be difficult to change their mind."
Someone who is immovable in their political beliefs is not going to change for any love interest. The time and effort necessary for a relationship are better spent with someone who you don't feel you need to change, and who doesn't feel like they have to change for you.