Can clowns ever not be scary? | The Tylt

Can clowns ever not be scary?

There are plenty of things in life that make you go, “Why, though?” Clowns are one of them. Whoever thought slapping garish makeup on a grown-ass adult was a solid way of entertaining kids either couldn’t read the room ever or was an out-and-out sadist. Everything about clowns is scary, from the red nose to the oversized shoes. Some disagree with this sentiment, shrugging clowns off as simple entertainment. Can this be? 

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Can you name another form of children’s entertainment that’s been replicated in various horrific ways throughout numerous scary movie franchises? No? Exactly. There’s a reason why clowns are used so much in horror films; they're innately bone-chilling. Humans are programmed to know that, should you see a clown waving to you in a secluded area, you don't stop to say hi, you run the hell away. It's practically evolutionarily based. 

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Even when clowns aren’t supposed to be scary, they’re scary. Look at Ronald McDonald and Loonette from “The Big Comfy Couch”: both are meant to be welcoming figures symbolizing fun and happiness while instead they cause kids (and adults) to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Christ, one is even named “Loonette,” as in, she’s a little looney. It’s almost as if the creators of the show knew she was going to traumatize viewers and had a good old laugh about it. Hilarious. 

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Moral of the story is, clowns are frightening. Always. At the circus, at the carnival, standing outside your window at three in the morning: no matter how you paint them or where you place them, a clown will always make you cry as opposed to laugh. Remember this, especially when one beckons you from a storm drain.  

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People need to cool their jets; clowns mean us no harm. Beneath the get-up they’re human beings that just want everyone to have a good time. How could you possibly be afraid of an entertainer that rides an unbelievably tall unicycle and makes a balloon into whatever animal you want? You can’t, is the answer to that. 

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The history of the clown can be traced all the way back to Ancient Egypt where they were performers who sought to make the pharaoh laugh. Their job description hasn’t exactly changed much since then: Clowns are only looking to make people happy. Just because one squirted water from a fake flower in your face when you were five and you’re still bitter about it doesn’t make them evil creatures. 

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On a serious note, clowns have often been used as allegories for greater societal troubles. There’s “Pagliacci,” an Italian opera that involves a clown whose inner turmoil isn't taken seriously by people who assume he’s as happy as the character he’s playing. Then there’s the usage of the word “clown” today, which is widely posted on social platforms (particularly on Twitter) to expose foolish people who assume they’re anything but. We’ll take the balloon animal-making kind, thank you very much. 

FINAL RESULTS
Culture
Can clowns ever not be scary?
A festive crown for the winner
#ClownsScary
#ClownsEntertaining