Which are you more likely to blackout on: White Claw or Four Loko? | The Tylt

Which are you more likely to blackout on: White Claw or Four Loko?

Alcohol can be casual, or it can be something that leads you to wake up at a bus stop with your dignity in shambles and shredded cheese all over your chest. There are two notorious heavy-hitter drinks that could be responsible for the latter situation. The first is White Claw, a seemingly innocent alcoholic seltzer that makes grown men cry. Then there’s Four Loko, a destroyer of good decisions that upped its game by releasing a hard seltzer of its own. Which is the primary blackout culprit?  

FINAL RESULTS
Culture
Which are you more likely to blackout on: White Claw or Four Loko?
A festive crown for the winner
#WhiteClawWasted
#UhOhFourLoko
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Real-time Voting
Which are you more likely to blackout on: White Claw or Four Loko?
#WhiteClawWasted
#UhOhFourLoko
#WhiteClawWasted

White Claw is oft underestimated, so much so that people drink about 12 within an hour and attempt to rob a Taco Bell as a result. Slowly but surely, its reputation has moved from basic booze to heavyweight champion.  

#WhiteClawWasted

Unlike beer or tequila, drinking White Claw doesn’t leave you feeling bloated or filled with self-disgust. You think, “Ah, look at me, being so health-conscious and well-behaved at this barbecue!”  Then you realize you've been shoving chip after chip into your mouth and screaming incoherent sentences at a scandalized Aunt Martha. 

#WhiteClawWasted

The weird thing about White Claw is that first-time triers are avidly against it, even as they crack another one open. They attempt to maintain the image that they only drink real drinks. Just embrace it, man, let it happen. 

#WhiteClawWasted

Remember that the Claw is not one to suffer fools. Drink responsibly, drink honestly, and, for the love of God, try to space them out—if not for your own sake, for the sake of those that have to put up with your blackout nonsense afterwards.

#UhOhFourLoko

The name “Four Loko” sends shivers down the spines of those who were lucky enough to drink the original version. Many a 2005-era teenager dabbled in Four Loko, assuming that just because it tastes like a melted lollipop, it can’t do too much harm. And oh, how they learned. 

#UhOhFourLoko

It could be guestimated that about 99.99 percent of first-time teen blackouts in the early 2000s can be attributed to Four Loko. It’s a brand name that quickly became synonymous with “young people doing really stupid and dangerous things.”  

#UhOhFourLoko

Tragedy struck in 2014 when the production of Four Loko was put to an end. Its makers looked at all the Chads hanging off of lampposts and thought, “Mmm, maybe pairing obscene amounts of caffeine with a high ABV wasn’t a good idea.” Alas, it was resurrected, like either a glorious phoenix or the Ghost of Hangovers Yet to Come.

#UhOhFourLoko

Again, please drink responsibly. And stay off that lamppost, Chad. 

FINAL RESULTS
Culture
Which are you more likely to blackout on: White Claw or Four Loko?
A festive crown for the winner
#WhiteClawWasted
#UhOhFourLoko